nostalgic days

This week I got to visit my hometown in SoCal for a week for spring break. Honestly, this was one of the most anticipated visits and I was counting down the days. I'm so glad I got to spend time with my family & my friends & especially my dogs, but being home always brings a sort of nostalgia and discomfort. I took some time to look through some old family photos and wanted to share some stories and memories correlated to these pictures. My friend, Joss, inspired me a while ago to "dress up" old pictures in one of her posts, so s/o to her haha. 

This first picture is one from the year 1999. This was way before my parents had any intentions of adding any new members & when we could go out and explore places like Santa Barbara. I don't really remember why we drove and spent time there, but it is still a cute picture and one of my favorites, even if I don't look it.

The year of 1998 was probably my dad's prime year LOL. I think he looks so handsome & young here!!! So weird, but whatever haha. Anyways, my dad is super funky & he used to dress me in these "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" ish outfits, maybe that's where I get it from HAHA.

 

This is a picture of my mom in Joshua Tree in 2000. We took a trip there to visit one of my moms' friends. I love this picture of  my mom because it's just the cutest. Her red dress and big wild hair along with the background, it perfectly depicts who my mom is. She is super adventurous and is always getting us to do fun things. She loves being outdoors and taking us to new places. I want to go back to Joshua Tree one day with my mom, I know she would make it super fun.

(S/O to you if you get the reference!) For some reason, I will always remember the memory behind this picture. Before moving to the LA County, my family & I used to live in Fontana, CA. It was in the Inland Empire and about an hour away from where the rest of my family lived. My grandma and all my cousins drove out to visit us for a day and I remember her telling us we all had to help her wash her car. We washed it and dried it and afterwards we all messed around trying to wet each other. My grandma always had a hard time with us living far, she was so happy when we finally moved. Now we live 2 blocks away from her :)

I love this picture of my very pregnant mom. Hearing news that my little brother and sister were going to be born made me the happiest girl alive. It also meant my grandma & grandpa were going to take a break from Mexico & come spend some time in America to help out my parents. My grandparents haven't visited since they were born (2002), but I really hope they do soon.

& finally they were born. It was hectic having two babies in the house, but it was also fun. Coming home from school to them kept my sister & I busy. My life without them wouldn't be the same & I'm so glad that they ended up being twins, because even though my older sister & I have moved out, they still have each other, meaning they will never have to grow up alone :).

While I was looking through the photo albums, I came across this one. In February, my uncle passed away due to Liver Failure. I wouldn't consider us very close, but he was still a good man & definitely passed way too soon. On this day, we went to go visit the Hoover Dam in Nevada, nearby where my uncle & cousins lived. It was very windy but my sister & I still wanted to wear our hats & dresses. My hat ended up blowing off my head & my uncle ran to catch it right before it went over the wall. He caught it & put it back on my head & I hugged him. I will always remember my uncle as having a witty sense of humor who knew how to cook some really delicious food. I know how much he meant to my dad. It's just a lesson that we never know when things like this are ever going to happen.

I love going through these pictures & they remind me of why I love taking pictures so much. Memories are priceless, I can't wait to get my disposable camera developed!
I'll catch ya all in the next one.

-Jess

dejé de llorar.

Some days are going to be sad days. 

Some days are going to be anxious days. 

Some days are going to stressful days.

That's just how it goes.

Recently I've been feeling weird. I'll wake up shaking and spend the day nervous without having a solid reason why (except for one day because I told myself I would talk to the guy I think is cute in one of my classes...I did & it went fine). I guess it's because I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed these past couple weeks. Work can get pretty stressful some days. It's not easy working with babies or their picky moms. I don't blame them, though, because I understand that all they want is for their children to be well taken care of, & I try my best. School-work sucks too, especially when you know you are capable of doing better work but you turn in half assed assignments because of pure laziness and procrastination. It rained pretty much all of last week and as much as I HATE trying to attach my feelings to my environment, it made me feel a little melancholy. The weather should have literally no effect on me, but I let it sometimes. I love the rain, but when I'm already feeling pretty shitty, it just adds to the reasons why. It just felt crappy shaking and feeling anxious at the most random times.

Anxiety sucks, a lot. But there really isn't much I can do about it but try to do things that make me feel less anxious. I started drawing a painting more than I used to & it really has helped me. I decided to add an old compilation of doodles from junior year that I found the other day, I realized I doodled a lot and i'm glad I saved them. When I am doing things that keep me busy, I shut my brain off to the negativity and nonsense of the day. I need to do more of that. Also, hanging out with my friends is always a way for me to distract myself and have some laughs. Last week my friend Zoe (check out her new blog!) & I randomly decided to walk to the beach. It was raining, but it was a quick walk and a fun distraction. The beach looked solemn, but still beautiful. We got absolutely soaked!! Coming back to the dorm I watched "Superbad" & tucked myself into my blankets and relaxed which is always nice.



Zoe & the gloomy ocean.

Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that I've been feeling poopy, but these are the things I've been doing to feel un-poopy.

"It's okay to not be okay"

-Jess

the earth is so beautiful

If there is one statement that is 100% true: the earth is so so so beautiful.

This past weekend I got to do one of my favorite things: exploring SF. I will never get tired of seeing new things especially in a place as exciting as San Francisco. Every time I get the opportunity to explore the city I feel completely overjoyed & I love that. My friends & I decided to go to the Sutro Baths near Land's End. Throughout the day we also went to Fisherman's wharf to go get in n out (I got a grilled cheese w/ grilled onions...YUM) & also to Ripley's Believe it or not (s/o to karllo for getting us in for free!) but my phone died so I didn't get pictures of that. Nonetheless, I still got some really nice shots from the day.

On with the pictures:

One of the busiest days we've had, but definitely worth the sore feet at the end of the day.