dejé de llorar.

Some days are going to be sad days. 

Some days are going to be anxious days. 

Some days are going to stressful days.

That's just how it goes.

Recently I've been feeling weird. I'll wake up shaking and spend the day nervous without having a solid reason why (except for one day because I told myself I would talk to the guy I think is cute in one of my classes...I did & it went fine). I guess it's because I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed these past couple weeks. Work can get pretty stressful some days. It's not easy working with babies or their picky moms. I don't blame them, though, because I understand that all they want is for their children to be well taken care of, & I try my best. School-work sucks too, especially when you know you are capable of doing better work but you turn in half assed assignments because of pure laziness and procrastination. It rained pretty much all of last week and as much as I HATE trying to attach my feelings to my environment, it made me feel a little melancholy. The weather should have literally no effect on me, but I let it sometimes. I love the rain, but when I'm already feeling pretty shitty, it just adds to the reasons why. It just felt crappy shaking and feeling anxious at the most random times.

Anxiety sucks, a lot. But there really isn't much I can do about it but try to do things that make me feel less anxious. I started drawing a painting more than I used to & it really has helped me. I decided to add an old compilation of doodles from junior year that I found the other day, I realized I doodled a lot and i'm glad I saved them. When I am doing things that keep me busy, I shut my brain off to the negativity and nonsense of the day. I need to do more of that. Also, hanging out with my friends is always a way for me to distract myself and have some laughs. Last week my friend Zoe (check out her new blog!) & I randomly decided to walk to the beach. It was raining, but it was a quick walk and a fun distraction. The beach looked solemn, but still beautiful. We got absolutely soaked!! Coming back to the dorm I watched "Superbad" & tucked myself into my blankets and relaxed which is always nice.



Zoe & the gloomy ocean.

Anyways, what I'm trying to get at is that I've been feeling poopy, but these are the things I've been doing to feel un-poopy.

"It's okay to not be okay"

-Jess