when in doubt...yourself

 I recently took some time to read through the journal I kept during high school and the only word I can describe it as is...sad. It's amazing to think that I had so much negativity in me. I had a tough time in high school & it definitely shows in my journal. I didn't really have a whole lot of friends (which is totally okay because the group of friends I had senior year are the best) & I was just another body walking around the halls of a stupid high school. Honestly, I didn't have a bad life, but I was stuck. I was stuck in a suburban town with people I did not...understand to say the least. I wrote in my journal multiple times "Once you go to college, things will be different" & it's true, they definitely are. But in that time from sophomore year to graduation, I was just floating by. I lacked inspiration & I was constantly bringing myself down. I always thought I wasn't good enough for anything & doubted myself. Sure, I got good grades & didn't have to worry about not graduating, but it was just bleak. I don't wish I was a cheerleader who dated a hot jock football player asswipe, & I wouldn't take back my experiences because they shaped me, I just wish I wasn't so sad & hateful towards myself. But hey, ever since I've moved to an ENTIRELY different environment, I've met people who inspire me to be creative & learned to love myself a little bit more everyday. As much as it made me sad reading my old feelings, it just put everything in perspective and made me appreciate of where I am today. Everyone has days where they just feel sad, but i've had a little less sad days & it's great.

So, I think I finished with the usual "feels" post, but I hadn't been able to blog for about two weeks because I stupidly left my laptop at my dads house & just got it back. While I was gone I turned NINETEEN!!! Crazy that my teenage self is slowly fading away and I'm nearing full blown ADULTHOOD. Ahhh what. the. fuck!!!! So yeah, I had a fantastic day with my family because I'm the most family oriented person out there lol. Here are some pictures of that weekend :)

My sister & her boyfriend took me out for a birthday breakfast at a small breakfast joint called "The Nest" & it was super good. I had a raspberry iced coffee and it was sooooooo good. As well as that meal in the picture but I forgot what it was called hehe. Anyways, I had a really nice birthday reflecting on my past years and having high hopes for this year :). I'll be back to posting more often! Thx 4 Reading!!

-Jess